Pieces of my heart,
They crumble within my grasp. No longer am I able to hold you together.
I set you down. Ashamed.
Tears rain from me to the Earth below. Flowing like a river into a mixture of mud and blood within my hands.
I’ll bury you deep. Very deep. So deep. As deep as is needed, to not feel my pain. To not feel my sorrow. To not feel my disappointment once and for all.
I’ll bury you away, far away, to not feel… anything, anymore…
For you are too much. And you are nothing but sadness.
I start to walk away…
For days… months… maybe years.
It grows quiet and cold.
…
How many times can you lock me up, she asks. How many times can you deny me, fry me, and hide me?
I will wait. Because I always do.
I will wait, and I will wait.
And I will wait.
And when you are ready to peek back into your heart once more, I will start to beat faster, thump loudly, pump proudly so you may undeniably hear my call.
With patience, but done with patience, I will not emerge fast enough from the dirt as you slowly start to dig through the soil that covers me. You softly begin to trust, hesitant, yet just barely starting to feel alive again.
With every stick and weed you remove that overgrew atop me, I anticipate your glance, your touch, your life-love flowing through my veins. As you come closer, I feel overwhelmed with anticipation. I start to beat wildly, unable to hold back my joy that I will be yours once again.
I have waited so long for you to stop your busyness, to stop your neglect, to stop your getting lost in everything but me.
For everyday I’ve dreamt about this moment,
When it comes time for you to peer back deeply into me, your heart, I am here waiting for you.
Your strength, your love. Your withering soul, I am your resilience and your deep peace.
